how do you know when to walk away?

so… this is what it feels to be in love again

makes you happy. makes you feel special. makes you think that nothing else matters. and sometimes you just smile without any reason.

falling fast. hopefully i don’t hit the ground.

As the day turns into night and the sun hides at the presence of the moon, memories seem to seep in and take hold of the feelings i try to switch off. The cold air creeps beneath my skin whispering in a deafening tone, emotions i meant to keep. After my brain vomits all its been busy of throughout the day, it again picks up what my neurons emit as “thoughts,” thoughts that haunt the vacant mind, then causes those tear ducts to function.

sadness. gloomy. lonesome. bitterness. depression.

a lot of words to mask it but so hard to define it.

My mind won’t listen when I tell it I don’t want it anymore. If I could only find a switch to turn these emotions off, I wouldn’t hesitate. Rip my heart out and throw it in an ice chest and I’d be free of whatever makes a human, human: capable to love, hope, and trust.

I loved. I hoped. I trusted.

That love made me weak. That hope made me bruise. And that trust made me vulnerable.

But still, amidst the tears, pain, and sadness, I miss when everything was still what we thought was “OKAY”. And i have already forgiven you even if you haven’t asked for it.